Mother's Day

We never know the love of a parent until we become parents ourselves ~Henry Ward Beecher~

Mothers hold their childrens hands for a short while, but their hearts forever ~Unknown~

5 weeks ago I became a first time mother and throughout the proceeding 9 months I prayed for the child growing inside of me to be healthy, strong, and to do wonderful things throughout his or her life. I fell deeper in love with each passing day and when we found out that we would become parents to a little girl , I fell a little deeper. Preparing for her each day made my heart grow and love more than I ever thought possible at the time; little did I know that it was just the beginning. From the moment I heard her first cry and saw her gooey little body, I knew I would never be the same and there was so much love in my heart that I might burst.

For 26 years I was my own woman. I cared for my family and my husband in the best way possible, or so I thought. Now that I am a mother I care for them all so much more for the life they allowed me to have, lessons taught, and things they have given me. Being a mother opened my heart more for all those around me as I now understand the sacrafices that my parents, grandparents, and family made and the love they have always had for me.

In the last 5 weeks I have found more joy spending every moment with my daughter. Learning every little detail about her from the folds of her skin to the meaning of her cries has opened my mind and a heart. I know that I have been dependent on my mother for 26 years for little things like bringing me a drink of water before bed time to giving me advice at 4:30 in the morning while in labor. I knew that she cared for me unconditionally, but didn't know the meaning of her love until I had a daughter of my own to love. She taught me to be the woman I am today and how to love my own daughter unconditionally; for that I am ever greatful.

Matney is the most precious gift I could ever ask for. I thank God every day for His plan to have Brandon and I raise this little one and to shape her and teach her to be an amazing woman. I have always been a Christian woman but knowing that I am responsible for such a little bundle of joy has made me realize how much more my faith means to me. Without His guidance and love, I fear I might not make it, but knowing that He is giving me the wisdom to raise her makes me believe that much more.

I sometimes think someone needs to pinch me to make sure I am not dreaming and that I am now a mother. I have so many wonderful examples of strong, loving mothers in my life that I hope I can be as wonderful as all of them. Sitting here now, holding this beautiful life on my chest as I type makes me wonder what life was ever like before her and if life is worth living with out the love of a child who depends on me for everything and loves me (at least I hope) all the days of her life.